Tuesday, April 13, 2010


First off, I want to apologize to the 3 people who actually take the time to check on this blog.

I have failed you and my heart is full of shame.

It's become apparent to me (and you, I'm sure) by my lack of updates that:
1) My plate is way too full right now, and
2) I am over Idol.

At least for this season.

Even reading my most recent posts, there isn't that joy or snark or even intelligent commentary to make writing or reading this blog worthy of your time or mine.

Without that joy...it just doesn't make sense to continue, when I have so many other irons in the fire that need tending.

Honestly, this is the first Idol where I am ZERO PERCENT invested in the show or the contestants. Less than zero. We're in the negative range. I am -7.4% interested.

To be clear, Miley Cyrus was the last nail in the coffin for me.

This show has jumped so many sharks over the course of it's history, sharks I have forgiven time after time, but having Miley as a "mentor"...

Just typing those words makes what's left of my melted brain begin to melt all over again.

I hope you guys are still getting some level of entertainment from the show, but honestly, even trying to watch it has become a chore. If I would rather do my dishes than watch a TV show? You know it's a lost cause.

I have a really full plate right now. Writing projects, home related hi jinx, prepping for a showcase I'll be directing in June, auditions...too much keeping me away from the TV at present.

I'd like to hope that maybe by calling it quits now and taking a full break from the show that maybe, maybe I can step up to the plate next year and have the fun with it I've had in year's past.

I really don't know if my apathy can be morphed into something productive...but hope will spring eternally.

Enjoy the rest of the season, watchers!

Seabreeze, Out!

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Top 11

Man. Last year, it seemed like I had all the time in the world to watch and critique the show. Last week was filled with a severe bout of food poisioning and a trip of out town. I haven't seen ANY of the performances. Sorry, kids. Will do my best to stay on target for the rest of the season. And while I didn't watch it, I was THRILLED to hear Lacey is gone. Small graces, I'll take.

It's official. If ever I thought for a moment that the Idol Producers weren't my active arch nemesis, that time is over.

By bringing Miley Cyrus onto this show, a line has been drawn in the sand.
A line made of hungry red ants and weapons grade uranium.

Watching her "mentor" these folks? My brain explodes and my blood boils. To proclaim her as ANY kind of talent (other than a money generating machine) with anything of value to impart is an insult to Talent. Of course, AI is solely focused on making money, so the choice makes sense on that level.

As much as the judges like to talk a good game about music ability, this show has their foot firmly planted in style over substance. Last week's guest performer of Ke$ha is exactly what I'm talking about. While "Tik Tok" is one of those pop songs that has a rift that gets stuck in your brain, it's more about the producing and packaging of that song than the actual singing.

I caught a you tube vid of Ke$ha's performace of "Blah Blah Blah" on AI and thought that her 15 minutes are at 14:25 and counting. I mean, spring for some "rap singers" who can actually rap and or sing. And please, give Cher her headdress back. Because, you, my dear Ke$ha, are not even a poor man's Cher.

Ke$ha is just the harbinger of things to come for the Idols once they go on tour. The producers of AI would pluck out their own left eye and sell their grandmothers on the street to get even a small slice of a cash cow tween fan generator the likes of Miley.

Please take your hunched over posture and Sunset Boulevard hooker clothes and go challenge you tube to another dance battle, Miley. Just get off of my television screen. Take your non-advice and go away. Far, far away.

Okay. Enough bitching. Bring on the songs.

LEE - The Letter (The Boxtops via Joe Cocker)
Well, Lee is cementing his standing as the next Joe Cocker with this song choice. I still like his voice and the fact that he put his guitar down tonight. But his voice isn't awesome enough to carry it all - he needs a bit more personality in his performance to get me to care if he makes it to the next week.

PAIGE - Against All Odds (Phil Collins...via a Mariah Carey cover)
Goof. She started the song off-key and never really righted the ship. Vocally, that performance was a hot mess. A hot mess that's been left out in the sun in a pool full of raw eggs and week old milk. Gah.

Worst vocal of the season? Uh...YEAH.

TIM - Crazy Little Called Love (Queen)
Oh, Timmeh. You wrung every bit of rock and soul out of that song. You are the Pat Boone of 2010. This is not a good thing. This is a very, very, bad thing. Like, "sign of the coming apocolypse" bad. Bad.

This was every word in the thesaurus that equates to "bland."

As much as I'm not a fan of High School Musical, to compare Tim's performance to Zac Efron is an insult to Zac Efron. I mean, at least that kid can sing and dance and can smile without making me think that he's been molested.

AARON - I Don't Want To Miss A Thing (Aerosmith)
If I was a religious woman, I would light a candle and send a silent prayer out to all the tweeners who a fanlits of Timmeh. That they should cast him and his Donny Osmond circa 1974 hair out of their hearts and embrace Aaron.

I'm not a fan of this song choice for him and I still think he doesn't have the experience under his belt to really go all the way, but this kid can at least sing. It's rough hewned, but he does indeed have talent and a voice. And after Paige and Tim, it was refreshing to hear

CRYSTAL - Me and Bobby McGee (Kris Kristopherson)
Oh, Crystal. You definitely lost points with me when you asked for Miley's autograph on your guitar.

Her fan moment with Miley aside, I go back and forth with Crystal. I like her voice and her attitude. I like that she sings barefoot on a carpet. She's been pretty consistant. Still, there's something missing peformance wise. I'm still waiting for her to draw me into what she's doing. I want a performance. I want my socks knocked off.

She's still a top contender, but personally, I'm still sitting in the coffee house. (And there's nothing wrong with that, I just want to have her take it to the next level.) If you've ever heard local performer Cathy Richardson sing any Janis song, you'd know what I'm refering to. Cathy makes you feel like you've been jolted by electricity when she covers this song. With Crystal, I just want another cup of coffee.

BIG MIKE - When A Man Loves A Woman (Percy Sledge)
I wish I could say I liked this performance as much as when he sang "This Woman's Work," but I don't. It's good. It's where the contestants should be. He's still in the front of the pack.

I think this was more about song choice not really killing it for me tonight. He's got a great falsetto, but tonight, he was good, not great. You've got to bring GREAT, every single time.

Hell, these folks don't even sing a full song. They sing like 90 seconds. If you can't be great for less than 2 minutes? I really have to roll my eyes at you disparingly and without irony.

ANDREW - I Heard It Thru The Grapevine (Marvin Gaye)
Shot himself in the foot with this song choice...and the arrangement...and the stage performance. Right now, I'm putting him in the bottom three with Paige and Tim.

There was not once good thing about it. Not one.
He's lost his confidence. He doesn't know which way is up.

And at this point, I agree with Simon - he's had more than enough time to pull his head out of his ass and show us that the Paula cover back in auditions wasn't just a fluke.

KATIE - Big Girls Don't Cry (Fergie)
Okay. I'm not a Katie fan, but I have to admit this was a good song choice for her. Fits her range well, it's more contempory. An improvement, even though she sounded a bit sharp throughout.

I think she still needs a confidence boost and her youth is still working against her overall.

CASEY - Power of Love (Huey Lewis and the News)
Shockingly, Casey is still very pretty.

I have to say, I love the Tower of Power-esque horn section backing him up. These are the things I wonder about. Was the horn section his idea or the band leader's suggestion? Because that's the sort of choice I'm really curious about...how much input he's giving to the arrangement/orchestration.

I think Casey has the voice, the musical skill and the drop dead looks to make it all the way. But I agree with Simon that he doesn't add anything "Casey" to the song. It was just a standard, though well executed, cover of a 25 year old song.

With the first few guitar rifts, I was hoping for something a little Santana flavored, but just got the song, pretty much as Huey threw it down. Decent, but no Casey flavor in the mix.

DIDI - You're No Good (Linda Ronstadt)
I have a soft spot in my soul for Linda Ronstadt and since I missed last week, the last memory of Didi was her performance of Rhiannon, so I'm really, really, really hoping for the best.

Oooh...upright bass? Me likely. I'm really starting to root for Didi. There's something about the quality of her voice that keeps me listening. While this didn't measure up to the delivery of Rhiannon, I still thought it was pretty good. Good for standing up for yourself against the judges trying to box you into something you don't want.

Oh. And on an unrelated note, I love that Simon couldn't remember Lacey's name...even though she's only been gone a week. That's hysterical.

SADE - Superstition (Stevie Wonder)
While I love that they broke the mold when they made this girl. For me, this wasn't her best performance, it felt a bit on the screechy side. Still, she's on the better half of the coin and safe.

Bottom Three: Paige, Tim and Andrew
Should be Going home: Paige
Will be Going Home: Andrew

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

eek! Top 8 Boys and Girls

Too many plates spinning to get my reviews typed up from last week...I'll try to get them posted at some point. But, as I'm already playing catch up and don't want to get further behind the eight ball, here's this week's review...

I missed last night's show, so I've only been able to catch the abbreviated video online.

KATIE STEVENS - Breakaway (Kelly Clarkson)
This just sounds like a good singer at a high school talent show.
I'm bored, bored, bored. When will you wow me, Katie?

I'm not holding my breath.

SIOBHAN MAGNUS - House of the Rising Sun (The Animals)
I just don't know what to do with this girl. I dig her voice. I dig that she picks crazy songs competition-wise...I can't help but want to hear more. I hope American digs her weird vibe.

LACEY BROWN - The Story (Brandi Carlile)
I'm sorry, I just don't like what she's bringing to the table. Her voice is like nails on a chalkboard to me. Argh. While she stayed in tune this time, she nearly put me to sleep. So she annoys me while boring me. A deadly combination.

KATELYN EPPERLY - I Feel The Earth Move (Carole King)
Love me some Carole King on a summer's day. Unfortunately, this version just felt very wedding singer-ish and uninteresting. She's got a decent voice, but it came off as dated and lounge-y.

Being dated? That's the kiss of death.

DIDI BENAMI - Rhiannon (Fleetwood Mac)
I have to say, this is my favorite performance of Didi's. I liked her approach to it. Unlike Katelyn's version of a 70's classic (which sounded really dated), this sounded very fresh to me. If I was a downloading kind of girl, I'd be tempted to throw this on my Ipod.

Best she's done thus far. My favorite performance of the night.
I give her two thumbs up.

PAIGE MILES - Smile (Nat King Cole)
As cheesy as I think she is, I really want to like Paige's voice. I think it has a good tone, but man, she kills it for me with all the goaty trilling. Just sing the note. Sing it. Lose even the tiniest vocal gymnastics and sing it, lady. I beg you.

Love this song, but HATED the cheesy Love Boat lounge arrangement.

CRYSTAL BOWERSOX - Give Me One Reason (Tracy Chapman)
I like Crystal and she'd definitely one of the leading ladies in this group, but to me she's still a pale imitation of Susan Tedeschi. I like a girl who can lay down some blues, but something's still missing for me with her.

I still want more from her. And that's a good thing.

LILLY SCOTT - I Fall To Pieces (Patsy Cline)
On the other hand, I have no idea what's up with Lilly. She does nothing for me. Zip.


Tonight, I watched the fellas live.

Can I , once again, scream to the rafters that these folks have to stop bending over backwards trying to please the judges. I'm not saying that they shouldn't be putting 100% of their energy and focus into this - absolutely they should. They should be working their freaking asses off to improve and grow and stretch themselves.

But cow towing to the judges is just a waste of time. Take the criticism, use what is helpful to you and move the fuck on. The judges can't keep you on the show...and the public knows when you're full of crap or being inauthentic or are just completely tone deaf.

The attempt to jump through hoops for the judges is a solid waste of time.



LEE DEWYZE - Fireflies (Owl City)
I'm a fan of this song, hell, it was one of the hottest downloads of 2009. I appreciate that he's trying to stretch a bit out of his "rock" genre and try something new to him. While it was fine, it didn't grab me.

When he has to hold a note in his straight singing voice (without going all Joe Cocker), he kinda loses me. It was a good performance, not great.

ALEX LAMBERT - Trouble (Ray Lamontagne)
Love this song. You know...each week, this kid seems to be getting a slightly better grip on his nerves. Agree with the judges that he needs to find that mix of confidence and relaxed delivery.

That said, this is week two of me digging his tone and song choice. Which is still a bit off putting for me, because all I really want to do is cut off his emo-mullet. I'd have to say this was my second runner up for the night as a vocal.

TIM URBAN - Hallelujah (Jeff Buckley)
Wow. He is swinging for the fences with this pick. Fairly bold move. And after two spectacularly bad weeks, this is by far the best Tim's done in this competition. He still hit a couple sour notes, but just that. The rest sounded honest and I liked his even delivery.

This week, the tweeners can call in with their heads held high and keep their teen dream in the running.

ANDREW GARCIA - Genie In A Bottle (Christina Aguilara)
Close, but no cigar. The song started well, but the chorus wasn't as strong as the rest of the song. I liked parts, but not the sum total. I do think I liked it more than last week. I think.

He's no Jonathan Coulton, but I can see him heading in that direction, if he'd just grow a pair. And if you aren't familiar with JC's cover of "Baby Got Back," you need to wander the interwebs and introduce yourself to it.

If Andrew can stop trying to impress the judges and just embrace his own style and say, "Fuck it. This is how I do, " I think he could really surprise folks. Unfortunately, this is week three of "not being as awesome as his original audition" and I think it's the end of the road for him.

Honestly, he should have said, "Fuck it. You want to hear Paula Abdul? Fine. Here it is." And it would have kept in him the competition for one more week - thusly getting him to the traveling show. Poorly played.

Robert Downey, Jr.
Mickey Rourke
Sam Rockwell
Don Cheadle
Scarlett Johannson
and Samuel L. Jackson??

Iron Man 2...you had me at hello.

CASEY JAMES - (Keith Urban)
Once again, my not knowing the song is a boon because I have no baseline. It sounded pretty good. Good energy, good vibe, good vocal. Didn't knock me out of my socks, but overall, I liked it.

I can't imagine Casey is going anywhere.

AARON KELLY - I'm Already There (Lone Star)
Okay, this kid has got to go home.

Not because he doesn't have a voice, but he just doesn't know what to do with it yet. You're a sweet kid, but you don't have the gravitas to even pull off this semi-mellow country ballad. You just need some seasoning, kid. Some life experience to inform your vocal/performance.

America, please send him home. Please. I'm begging you.

TODRICK HALL - Somebody To Love (Queen)
When you pull out Queen, you have no choice but to LEAVE IT ALL ON THE STAGE. You have to GO BIG OR GO HOME, there is no middle ground when you throw down with the likes of Freddie Mercury.

This was the most tepid version of Queen I've heard....possibly ever. Yeah, he stayed in key and hit that last big note, but even that felt mild. Where's the guts? Where's the passion behind it. Where's the desperation of trying to find someone to love?

And if that was meant as a Gospel (or influenced by gospel) then Todrick should apologize to Gospel performers everywhere. Because that's an insult to good, get me out of my seat, gospel music. That shit was not even Broadway worthy. Best he's done...but not nearly good enough.

MICHAEL LYNCHE - This Woman's Work (Kate Bush)
Let's just say it. This is one of the greatest songs ever written. You could argue with me, but you'd lose. This song make me want to turn my life into a music video where I smash everything smashable in slow motion while crying and laughing and hugging and kissing and dancing and curling up into a ball. God, that woman can write a fucking song.

I'm wondering if Michael is a fan of Greg Laswell, who recently did a delightful cover of this song - not too many fellas have covered it, so I find the choice very...interesting. That said, Michael definitely brought a great R&B vibe to it and made it his own...and of course, it also ties in the "I just had a baby" storyline in without even having to bring it up.

That's some fucking smart play, yo.
Best performance of the night by a long shot.
And I think Simon might be right...best performance of the season thus far.
Gorgeous stuff.


Ladies: This is a hard one. Because I think Katie, Lacey, Katelyn and Lilly could all be on the chopping block. While I'm not a fan of Lilly, I think she had a following still, so she's safe.

I think Lacey and Katelyn will be going home.

Gents: Andrew and...it's a toss up between Aaron and Todrick. Money on Aaron.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

time is not on my side this week

Don't have time to post my reveiw of this week's shows...will post later tonight.

But I wanted to get my picks in for the ousts.

Gents going home: John Park and Jermaine Sellers.

Ladies going home: Lacey Brown and...this is a tough one. I think Haeley should get the boot, but I think she's got more folks rooting for her than several other contenders....so I think even though she hit that big note, Sade might go home...or possibly Didi, because nobody likes watching someone cry onstage. And if you can't handle the heat in this kitchen, you really do need to go.

Reviews later! Promise!

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Results Night 02.25.10

You cannot run.
You cannot hide.
You cannot cut off your ears to save yourself from...


Gahf. After forcing all the Up With People songs over the years - from folks like Lionel Ritchie, Neil Sedaka, Gloria Estefan and Ray Stevens to name a few...it's been a long time coming for the selection for the group sing to be something from someone as current as Estelle and Kayne (American Boy.)

Although, the arrangment and singing fuck it up as usual, so they might as well been singing something as milk toast as Everything is Beautiful. Gah.

And BONUS! I forgot that two from each group are going home tonight!

So Janell and Ashley are going home, which...Hey America, good job!

While I still think Lacey needs the boot - especially with that godawful outfit she's forcing upon the veiwers - I nonetheless bow to your call to send Ashley packing. I guess her performance was wrist-slashy enough to be sent home.

Two thumbs up.

Then the boys. Out of all the folks that got the hook tonight, I think he was actually the best singer, but still, completely forgettable. Sorry, Joe. Keep on, keepin' on.

At this point, it's really anyone's call...there are a lot of guys who half assed it last night. Am I surprised that Tyler got the boot before Jermaine, John or Alex? Eh. A little...but he really won't be missed.

So four down...working towards that Top 12 that make the tour (where the mediocre money and small amounts of fame lie.)

See you next week, kids!