Welcome to it, my friends.
I'll say it right up front, I don't vote.
In the nine seasons this show's been on the air, I've never voted for any of the singers. Not a one. Mainly because I feel that unless I'm planning on buying their album, it seems hypocritical to actually vote for them. I came close a couple times, but never pulled the trigger - with the phone or my wallet.
We all know that AI is less a talent seeking show and more a money generating factory, so, until I vote with my dolla dolla bill, y'all, I'll continue to steer clear of the phone-in vote.
***********
Got home late and after walking the dog, checking in with my Pop and putting dinner in the oven, I missed the usual pomp and buildup that is is the AI machine. Thank heaven for small favors.
I also missed the the first three singers.
So, my first three critiques come via youtube uploads.
Paige Miles - All Right Now (Free.) An okay start to the show. Good tone to her voice and I'm a fan of the song in general. Points for stepping out of the gate by trying to R&B up a classic rock song. It almost works, but not quite. Judges hammer up the fact that trying to take a "band sound" and turn it into a solo vocal (even with backup singers) doesn't really end up doing a rock song any favors. It becomes that unhappy hybrid of Wedding Singer and Cruise Ship Lounge Act.
She also kind of just did the same thing over and over. Popping out a word here and thar in a falsetto/squeak every now and again. Example: "Maybe we can SEE things the same..." "Don't you think this LOVE can last?"
Again, points for attempting to alter from the original, but it just didn't have the musicality to...well, grab me.
At present, I dig her green eyes and positive disposition, but that blinding silver belt thingamajig has Got To Go. The way the stage lighting was set, my eyes went directly to the giant belt in every wide shot and it's all I could focus on. Undermined by fashion. Truly, there is nothing new under the AI sun.
**Question: Why do the AI Producers always underscore the ROCK with the fake flame background? It's atrocious, cliched and, oh, I don't know....hackneyed.**
Ashley Rodriguez - Happy (Leona Lewis.) Man. Where have I been? That's a hit song? That's like the 2010 equivalent to a B-side from The Smiths.* (And a poor man's version at that.) Wow. Ok. I kinda want to open my wrists after hearing that one.
Here's the thing. You only get about 90 seconds tonight to really introduce yourself to the masses....do NOT pick a somber, moody ballad, that you really can't pull off to begin with. Bad song choice, girlie. Again, I'll give it to the judges. Girl can carry a tune, but she can't carry a really big one across the stage just yet.
*OMG. It just hit me. How utterly awesome would it be for an Idol to sing Please, Please, Please Let Me Get What I Want? Perfect length and so cloyingly desperate. Hmmm. Maybe in round 4 or 5 after the audience knows your sense of humor a bit better? Hmmm...
Janell Wheeler - What About Love (Heart.) BRING ON THE HEART! Ah...oh, well...yeah. Starts pretty clean and then she's almost immediately warbly and off key. Felt like the best singer at karaoke night. Nothing different or unique or overly interesting. Bordered on boring for me.
Wait. Is she wearing leather/pleather pants? Gahf. Dude. They give you a clothing budget and that's what you buy? Hmmm. Maybe they are just really super thin/tight jeans. Agh. Top's cute and the lavender background is a big improvement over Paige's flames.
Lilly Scott - Fixing A Hole (Beatles.) I like the song choice and while she didn't make waterfalls and unicorns come shooting out of it, I think agree with Simon that 1) it's the best of the ladies thus far (of course, we're only 4 deep), and that 2) she's lacking in star quality.
I also thought Randy's comment that she's not "I love that...you don't care what everyone else is thinking, what's fashionable, what's in, whatever. "
Uh...Randy, are you for real? Maybe Lady Bowersox could give two shits about what's fashionable, but Lilly is giving off the vibe that her look, her sound is what she considers to be very in fashion. "Indie" is directly related to fashion, you idiot. The fact that she is coming from a Lilly Allen space is VERY in fashion, you dolt. Gah. Judges. Please let the sky drop bricks on your head.
Speaking of fashion...there is something about her look reminds me of Tracy Ullman in a wig doing a character. Except Tracy Ullman's affectation when she sings is a put-on for a bit.
Hmmm. I'm on the fence with Ms. Lilly.
Katelyn Epperly- Oh Darlin' (Beatles.) Feels like a nice, safe song choice choice for her vocally. I'm not sure if she's intentionally trying to lean towards the infamous Janis Joplin screech or it's nerves. It seemed to work for her overall, but it felt a wee bit pushed/forced midway through.
When I just listen to the audio, she reminds me a bit of Susan Tedeschi - with 82% less soul and grit. She's Tedeschi Light.
Another pretty girl who has a decent voice, although that leather dress wasn't doing her any favors. She looks like she has a nice, natural figure and that leather dress looked like a floor mat.
Haelely Vaughn - I Want To Hold Your Hand (Beatles.) The thing about the Beatles is that their early stuff is so simple and straight forward that 1) anyone (even me) can sing them and not sound like an asshole and 2) they are so perfectly created that trying to alter the arrangement can really backfire on you, if you don't know what you're doing.
Hate me if you will (and I kinda do), but part of me likely Ms. Vaughn. It wasn't amazing and she's far, far, far from the strongest singer, but she's very personable and did a decent job. Yeah, she smiled like an idiot throughout the song - her nerves definitely showed...but I still liked it.
I'm just not sure if I liked it because I'm always amazed by what the Beatles created, or if it's something she brought into the mix. It's the same conundrum I have when I'm making out with a guy who's a good kisser. Am I digging it because I like this fella, or do I really really really just like making out. I believe in this scenario, I'm too drunk to trust my own judgement and will have to make out with him (listen to her sing) without being a'drunk (the Beatles.)
Also, for some reason, my notes here say, "Shaddup, Kara."
Even though I don't know why I wrote it, I know it's correct.
Lacey Brown - Landslide (Fleetwood Mac.) AWFUL. One of those that I can't tell if it's the transition to the ear bud or nerves, but...oofie. Not good. Lots of hard, off notes. Very pitchy. And, is it me, or does her speaking voice sound like one of those girls who talk in a baby voice? Never trust a girl who talks in a baby voice, people.
Again this is a great song that is a poor song choice for this singer. Moreover, it was really...WHAT? Wait a minute. As the judges throw it back to Seabreeze, I hear Simon say she's got "She's got nice eyes." And Kara say, "Beautiful girl."
FUCK YOU JUDGES. That's why American should put her through? Because she "looks" the part? FUCK YOU. If she doesn't bring it, THAT'S worthy of voting her off. My god, it's night one and I already want to slap people.
WAIT...are you kidding me? I'm ready to bitch slap the judges and then Lacey does the cardinal sin of coming close to breaking Rule #4 (see side bar on the right), by standing there and trying to counter the judges' criticism by equating Simon's "you're boring" comment to "some songs are just slower" and that "you can't come out with a full on rock song every single time."
1. Slower doesn't equal boring, Lacey.
Your performance equaled boring. Math = Facts!
2. You can't "rock" every single time?
DUDE. This is your FIRST time being voted on by the masses.
And now you've opened your piehole and confirmed the fact that you're boring and an idiot.
Michelle Delamor - Fallin' (Alicia Keys.) Possibly the most gorgeous idol that I can recall...I look at her and she reminds me of every teen model that ever graced the covers of Seventeen Magazine. She looks like a cross between Mya and JLo with a splash of Janet Jackson. Her look is completely marketable.
And she can sing pretty well. Mid-song she wasn't as strong as at the top...and the ending went a little wedding singer-ish. Honestly, I think she's one of the better ladies of the night both in her vocal and her performance.
She needs to lose the constant forced pageant smile - it even seemed like she was fighting it a little, so it seems like she was aware of it. We'll see if that's nerves or a bad habit.
I agree with Simon that right now, she's a good singer, but she's too much of a copy of what's already out there - visually and vocally. She's got to take a risk. She's got to bring it.
Didi Benami - The Way I Am (Ingrid Michelson.) LOVE THIS SONG. Love it. The minute I hear the lead in, I'm like GREAT SONG CHOICE. It's short and fun and uptempo. Even if you're not familiar with the song, it's one of those catchy sweet pop tunes that you can't help but smile and feel good about.
But she fucked it up by monkeying with the arrangement just a bit too much. Here's the deal on "arrangement." You show a creative arrangement on a KNOWN song. One that will break the audience's and judges expectations. This is NOT a song that is known to the masses. Maybe 20% of the audience are familiar with Ingrid Michaelson. In this instance, you don't have to push it. Just let them love you and this song just as you are.
A good example of this would be last season, when Kris Allen performed "Falling Slowly." He didn't muss with it, just performed it as it was intended, which worked because, again, while it's one of my favorite songs OF ALL TIME - not to mention an award winner - it wasn't a Top 40 blow-out hit.
I disagree that it's a dreary song, but I will agree with Simon a bit that there was no spark. Her delivery was a tad dull. She took a really sweet, funny song and made it just a little too serious.
When you have a song that uses Rogaine as a love song lyric? Work the Fun of it.
Siobhan Magnus - Wicked Game (Chris Issac.) Since I'm not sure I'll ever spell her name right again (much less pronounce it correctly) I dub thee...Sade. I look at this name and think, will she be the Chikezie of this season? Mayhaps.
I think she's got balls to attempt this song and it almost, kinda sorta works. She started off too low in her register, but overall, I like the tone of her voice. I like the tattoo peeking out from her sleeve. I like her. But, I didn't get caught up in the song...and that's what should happen with a song that haunting.
Crap. Here we go AGAIN. Judges? STFU. They keep pining and reminding everyone how AWESOME SHE PERFORMED THE STEVIE WONDER SONG, YO. Just in case you were thinking of NOT voting for her, you TOTALLY SHOULD because Stevie is fucking hard to sing and SHE KILLED IT IN THE FINAL ROUND, YO.
Shut up, Judges. Seriously. I'm judging her on what I'm seeing tonight. And tonight, she was good, but not great. So. SHUT. IT.
Crystal Bowersox - Hand in My Pocket (Alanis Morrisette.) GAH. You don't love music because of your kid. I don't care about your kid. I don't care about your story. Gah. I am obviously hitting a wall.
Her performance was good, but....really, really, really, really, really safe song choice with very little of the "making it her own."
Her energy is nice, but, facts is facts.
It was a coffeehouse performance.
A Tuesday night coffeehouse performance. (which is open mic night, folks.)
I beg of you Lady Bowersox, please, please, please don't do the guitar-harmonica combo each week. I beg of you. On my knees. Unless you can play the harmonica like John Popper, please...Limit That Shit. Still, I like her and want her to stick around.
Katie Stevens - Feeling Good (WTF?) UGH. Let me tell you how surprised I would be to discover that Katie has been around pageants for most of her life. Zero percent. I would be zero percent surprised. And now, here is the point in the evening where my BRAIN EXPLODED.
According to Seabreeze's "teleprompter", Katie will sing, Feeling Good... FROM MICHAEL BUBLE.
WHAT. THE FUCK. God I hate this show.
Excuse me, won't you, while I speak directly to my sworn enemies, the Producers of this show.
Ahem.
Michael Buble did NOT INVENT this song.
He didn't even "reinvent" it.
He didn't write it, arrange it or poop it out his pooper chute.
He just covered it.
If anyone gets to take credit for this song (aside from the original Broadway musical it was actually written for in 1965) it's NINA FUCKING SIMONE.
You motherfucking soul-sucking asshats.
And if your viewing audience doesn't know who the fuck NINA SIMONE is, then hey. HEY! Let's do the world at large a favor and use this as a teaching moment to expose them to one of the greatest artists that every walked the earth. Ms. NINA "I Put a Spell On You" SIMONE.
As I step off my soapbox, you can probably tell that I love this song. Katie starts pretty strong and then it drops off a bit and then she picks it back up. And then kinda drops it again. The last note was...oofy. It was a little like watching a 12 year old sing "Cabaret." They might be able to kinda pull it off, but really, you never want to see a tweener portray Sally Bowles. Ever.
Arg. So much more snark, but I must wrap it up and get ready for Gent's Night.
If I had to put money on it, Lacey Brown will be going home.
5 comments:
okay. right off the bat, i'll say that i have NEVER watched idol. just like i never watched LOST until this year. also i'm just a huge music lover/fan and have seen lots of music live.
what about love girl. dear lord. why in the hell would you pick that song? it just seems like such a BIG song to try and pull off. just seemed like a bad idea.
also, did it seem like a lot of the girls just struggled with stage presence? super stilted and awkward and whatnot? my friend, jeff, kept saying: "can they not hear themselves??"
lilly scott. i really like her a lot. actually, i like most of the guitar girls. i don't think she's lacking in star quality, though. i think she's not the kelly clarkson star ... she's the feist star or the ____enter indie rock star here. maybe i think of those people more as stars because i'm more ensconced in those music genres/worlds, though. but then you go on to say you DO think that stuff is in fashion as well, and i think so too. i really like her.
oh, haeley. i thought this was terrible. was it reggae? was it ..?? i don't know. i liked her quirkyness the first time i saw her, but this was sort of brutal. it made me kind of possibly not like the beatles, and that is NOT okay. although i must admit, the second they said *that* was the song she was doing, i just went, "ooof."
followed by ... LANDSLIDE? WHY? WHY? would you pick that song. it's fucking stevie nicks. seriously. you have to have some serious ovaries to think you can come out and pull that off. even an awesome karaoke version. dear god. i think simon said after the first 15 seconds he was wondering how much longer he'd have to suffer through it. we didn't have to, because god gave us DVRs.
the way i am. this was GREAT. i didn't think it was too maudlin. i didn't think it was *all* that far off the original, truth be told. do you really think only 20% of the audience is familiar with ingrid michaelson? again, is it because of the circle/s i run in? and i didn't see it, but everyone *i* know knows 'falling slowly,' but again is it just my scene in chicago?
wicked game. again. the SECOND i heard that announced, i was just like ... why in the hell would you even CONSIDER that as a song choice? seriously. that's so hard. i feel like the only one that should be singing that song is chris isaak. and he already did.
hand in my pocket. i do kind of love her story. i love her potential for a rags-to-riches-to-jewel sort of thing. she's missing teeth, for god's sake. yeah, simon nailed her with the coffeehouse thing. i get it. but, i like her. because although there are tons of people like her doing stuff like that all across america, they did pick her to be on the show, and i'd rather see someone like her than the girls who do the series of vocal runs like they're doing triple axel, triple toe loop combinations.
feeling good. don't know any songs by michael buble, so that meant nothing to me. by 1/2 way through this song, i just assumed this was a "standard." i had forgotten that they had said it was someone modern. now that you say that, that is TERRIBLE. also, two seconds after she opened her mouth and my friend said "she's only 16 (17)," i went ... it's rachel. i mean, if anyone was a real-life character from glee, this was it. but, just like rachel killed it in the season finale (wearing a very similar outfit), i thought she did a good job with this song.
until the judges spoke, and i realized that she DID look very pageant-y, which also made realize why she was very rachel-esque (natch). oh well, i still really liked it. better to have lots of stage presence (even overdone stuff), than none.
that was fun. is that okay, that i talked about everything that you talked about?!? hope so. i don't have time to write another blog ... just make big comments on other's.
Lady, you are so very welcome here. Yay for comments!
I'm the opposite of you, I've watched many seasons (not all, but enough.) Enough to see a lot of folks make the same mistakes season after season...
>>did it seem like a lot of the girls just struggled with stage presence?
I think most of girls had a HUGE confidence issue - either you're comfortable taking a stage and bringing your joy of performing and slapping it on the stage...or you're a deer in headlights.
And it was open season.
>> my friend, jeff, kept saying: "can they not hear themselves??"
Honestly? Probably not.
This is likely the first time most of these folks are working with an ear bud and if you're not used to wearing one and hearing the music (and yourself) that way, it can totally fuck with your being able to stay on key.
But this is sink or swim. The learning curve is short and steep. Survival of the fittest and most adaptable.
>>lilly scott.
>>i think she's not the kelly clarkson star ... she's the feist star or the ____enter indie rock star here.
I'm not saying Lilly can't develop star quality, I just don't see it yet. Like you mentioned I know so many performers of this stripe - and they bring so much more, I don't know - they leave their guts onstage (even if it's in a dainty way, there be guts) and I failed to sense that from her just yet.
This is my big issue with the show. The reason I'm on the fence with Lilly is I wonder if she was singing her own stuff, if she would blow me away. Not everyone is meant to cover other folks' work.
But then again, talent is talent and some of my favorite songs are interpretations of covers.
I'm hoping that now that the first night jitters are over, she'll bring more of herself and her bravado to the stage.
>>oh, haeley.
>>this was sort of brutal.
yeah...I have a horrible soft spot for the underdog and I think haeley is the one that I want to root for, even though I know she's doomed and kind of awful.
>>the way i am.
>> do you really think only 20% of the audience is familiar with ingrid michaelson?
Yep. You have to understand, AI doesn't really foster the indie crowd (at least not in years past) and except for a couple folks (Carrie Underwood and Chris Daughtry come to mind) pretty much all of their winners and runners up were put on the "pop" track.
Plus their main demographic are tweeners and cougars.
Now...there are a lot of well learned over 40's (ahem), but I don't think your average AI veiwer is a Chirp listener, if you follow. I think my Smith reference would fall on deaf ears, if you follow and I doubt even 10% would know who The Swell Season was - much less name them.
Still, the producers are *starting* to reach out to indie folks a little more - mainly because there is a dollar to be made with a truly talented singer/songwriter.
>> everyone *i* know knows 'falling slowly,' but again is it just my scene in chicago?
Yes. I travel in that scene (a bit) as well. But AI does not travel in that scene. The are all about Top 40, Billboard Charts and record sales.
>>hand in my pocket.
>>i do kind of love her story.
>>although there are tons of people like her doing stuff like that all across america, they did pick her to be on the show, and i'd rather see someone like her than the girls who do the series of vocal runs like they're doing triple axel, triple toe loop combinations.
A very good point. I do agree. I just can't take that half assed harmonica playing. It will do me in.
>> my friend said "she's only 16 (17)," i went ... it's rachel.
>> better to have lots of stage presence (even overdone stuff), than none.
Again, a very good point. I would rather have it overplayed than underplayed as well.
Yay! Comments!!
in re: the "what *is* america really listening to" line of thinking ...
here's my thing on that. "falling slowly," ingrid michaelson, death cab for cutie, feist, colby caillat, etc., etc. ... they're all ON the cougar stations. mix, etc. they aren't being played on CHIRP, cause they're too "mainstream" and too "adult contemporary." so, i feel like those artists *are* on the billboard charts now. i'm just thinking that there are people out there leading the way these days in that arena. there are examples, if those girls want them.
can't wait for the guys ..... :)
This is where there are like 3 Americas.
1) Who knows who Feist is, and can name about a dozen Feist-like singer/songwriters of the same ilk, and can name a dozen more who they like better.
2) Who maybe knows "that one song that they play on that commercial", but couldn't name the artist or the name of the song (1234.)
3) Who have no idea about Feist or her music. Period.
To this last group of folks?
Wilco or Radiohead would be a crazy new discovery.
The producers of this show tend to play towards that last group more.
They are looking to produce an immediate Top 40 Billboard Hit machine. These folks looking to create the next "Taylor Swift" than say, "The New Pornographers" (which you could also argue are more mainstream than say, Beach House.)
I'm not saying it's right, I'm just saying...that's kind of how they roll.
It's only in the last season or two that they've started letting these folks actually play an instrument themselves.
So, while they are starting to take baby steps, the track to a true indie singer/songwriter...at least from this venue...is light years away.
Let me put it another way...last year's "mentors" for the idols included: Smokey Robinson, Berry Gordy Jr. and Slash.
Not that these folks don't have chops you can learn something from...but none of them are setting the new frontiers of music ablaze.
http://www.mahalo.com/american-idol-mentors
Mainstream is miles from even the slightest whiff of indie in this arena.
Crap! I have to go finish my boys night reveiw. Later!
>>> I beg of you Lady Bowersox, please, please, please don't do the guitar-harmonica combo each week. I beg of you. <<< - I'm thinking that Crystal is essentially hiding her not-so-pearly-whites behind that harp. Looks like she's been burnin' through a few thousand packs of Marlboros in that coffeehouse. Or just drinkin' too much coffee. Until the AI Makeover crew finishes with her whitening procedure, I think you'll find her using every possible technique to hide them dingy teefus.
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